This is a complete sketch. This it IT. It hasn’t been edited down. This isn’t a clip of the sketch. It’s the full sketch. The beginning, middle and end. This is actually how they wanted it to be. The real nightmare thing about it is that it’s the best thing that they’ve done. Fucking hell.
Apart from the confirmed news that this shit smells sweet enough to the BBC that they’ve given more of our licence fee to them to make a second series, do you know what the real tragedy of Horne & Corden is? It’s directed by Kathy Burke. It’s like discovering that Christopher Eccleston had directed The Man from Auntie. I feel sick.
I’m back from Margate now. All that sea air, beach walking and healthy living is knackering. I’m sure I’ve done myself a right mischief and no mistake. It was a lovely couple of days though, the peak being dinner on the last night. We went to a place called Indian Princess (type Indian Princess Margate into Yahoo!, the Did You Mean…? made me giggle). It’s an Indian restaurant. It’s very modern and trendy and really pretty upmarket. In fact, it’s so incredibly NOW that it barely has anything for vegetarians apart from rice and plates. Don’t let that put you off (especially if you’re not a vegetarian) because the dessert is the best thing I’ve eaten in years. Maybe even longer. I’m not into desserts. I like school dinner desserts like Boring Sponge & Flavourless Custard but that’s about it. The Indian Princess changed my mind about everything. I had a chocolate samosa. Sounds revolting but it works. It was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone had bought me expensive presents and it was an orgy and James Corden’s parents had never been born. It was that good.
Sounds revolting but it works, pt II: Johnny and I will be performing our second attempt at King of Everything this Sunday at Hen & Chickens, Islington at 9.30. Tickets are only £5 and it doesn’t last too long (only about 45 minutes) so there’s still time to drink all your brain cells away afterwards. Call 020 7704 2001 for tickets right now this very second. Please come along. It was fun last Sunday and there will be more stuff in it this time. Remember: if you DON’T come then Horne & Corden have WON. Is that what you want for your children?