What a lovely amount of sheer pity I got from yesterday's blog. Er...thanks. I admit, it wasn't my proudest moment but the reaction from readers was hilarious. It went from "Are you OK?" to "You should have fucking taken both of his fucking shoes". Good. My favourite was "I'm going to ask for the shoe of everyone who pisses me off from now on". That sentence (pretty much word for word) came from two different people. I'm very proud and embarrassed of them.
It was the first Precious Little podcast of the year yesterday and we got off to a cracking start. It really did sound like we were cracking. We never really talk about anything in the podcast but this was truly an hour and twenty minutes of NOTHING. James tried to stop it a few times but I kept waffling on. Still, it made me think (a bit) about The Naughtys and how they will be defined when we look back on them. It's not good.
The Naughtys, to me, is the decade were the planet agreed to just accept shit. Obama aside, it's an apathetic decade. Despite war and terror we just seemed to shuffle along like it was our lot in life. I hope there's a lot more storming of Downing Street and the White House in this decade. Not that I'll be doing any. It's my back, you see? And my Doctor says I shouldn't use my feet. Too much po-going to heavy metal as a teenager. It's a Gwar wound. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Anyway, the most apathetic thing about The Naughtys was that we became so lazy that we just let our own personal taste drift away from us. In the 70's, when telly was just invented, we had I Claudius which was a well made, well written, well acted incredible drama that EVERYONE watched. There have been plenty of other quality programmes since then but not so many in The Naughtys. Now it's X Factor where we sit in our comfortable homes laughing at the mentally ill while keeping rich people rich and making talentless people famous. Reality TV has to be the last straw though, eh? Haven't we had enough of it? Don't we want something well written again? Aren't we bored of Britain's Most Haunted Woman and How To Look Good Paralysed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know we still have well written drama like The Wire but no-one watches that. Well, everyone WE know watches it but WE aren't the problem are WE? It's the fucking proles keeping Simon Cowell rolling in money that are to blame. The proles used to watch I Claudius, that's all I'm saying.
Obviously, I have no idea what I'm saying. I think I'm just fed up that otherwise rational people keep accepting this level of untertainment. I watched Celebrity Big Brother last night like a big fucking idiot. I won't watch it again because it is dreadful and an insult to my intelligence. I'm not even particularly bright and it's an insult to my intelligence. Last night was the introduction of the 10 or so people that you've never heard of and one by one the idiot-stereotype boxes were ticked as they entered the house: The Nutter, The Whore, The Hilarious Tranny, The Fat Popstar, The Criminal, The Embarrassed Older Woman, The Little Girl Who Once Had The World's Oldest Cock In Her and Vinny Jones, a fellow actor.
The only nearly entertaining bit was when they all clapped eyes on each other it was obvious no-one recognised anyone. They are celebrities that we must add some more letters to the end of the alphabet just so we can describe them.
It's a new decade. A fresh start. Please don't watch this programme. Please. Let's let good writers kill the reality stars. I don't even mind if it's actual murder, let's just finish this. Wouldn't it be great? Good quality writing back on our TV's entertaining everyone instead of embarrassing nobodies begging to be on page 7 of the Daily Star again like they were at their peak? If the TV companies see we have no interest in their version of reality they'll make that move. They'll bring writing back! I can see it now....Channel Five dropping Heads Or Tails to put money into new comedy, Channel Four will scrap Come Fight With Me so they can go back to their original remit of being a pioneering, alernative channel and the BBC will ask Russell T. Davies to bring I, Caudius back........oh.
Davina, I'm on my way.