Oh, and Happy New Year to you. In all the excitement of David Tennant's departure from our lives I totally forgot to say Happy New Year. How has it been so far for you? Mine has been cold.
Despite the fact that I now have an excuse for my testicles being a bit inside me, there is nothing good about living in a freezing cold house. The grumpy, monosyllabic man from British Gas fixed my boiler and left hours ago but the house is still bloody cold. Still, at least I can walk around my house wearing all of my clothes at the same time. I look so cool wearing three coats, 27 t-shirts, four pairs of shoes and a sock. It's really not much to complain about. The house will heat up soon. Homeless people go through a lot worse and you never see them complaining.
So what was good in 2009? That's what everyone's blog should be about these days, right? The best albums, best films, best TV programme, best worst. They all must be recorded in everyone's angry blog right now. But not me. I've decided to simply list my one single best thing of 2009, in fact it's my favourite thing of The Naughtys. Here we go:
BEST THING OF 2009 LIST.
1) All-Star Impressions Show.
That's it. That's my entire list. And wasn't it an incredible show? Every word in the title is a lie and it gave us just the right amount of festive embarrassment we needed at Christmas time. It's hard to pick a favourite out of all the sketches I saw in the programme (it's like picking your favourite child but only if your children are Hitler, Stalin and a big monster) but they ranged from Claire Sweeney not doing an impression of The Queen to a cunt sort of pretending to be Paul McCartney. ITV never quite get it right when it comes to comedy so praise must be given to them for sticking so rigidly to their remit.
If you haven't seen it then you are very lucky indeed but allow me to end your luck now by asking you to click on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV_RmfhV5ZY
Just in case you're not tempted to click, at 6.08 Eamonn Holmes pretends to be Elvis. You will think you're having a nightmare but you're not. They really, really made that TV programme. Massive kudos to Iain Lee who apologised for All-Star Impressions Show on Twitter. To be fair, at least he and MacKenzie Crook tried. Unlike....well...everyone else. Enjoy.