I'm on the train on my way to Edinburgh so I will make this brief. I would have done a longer blog but this train is rammed with noisy, smelly bastards who desperately need a red- hot injection of disappointing theatre and noisy, smelly bastards who desperately believe in unachievable dreams and love throwing all their money on to a massive bonfire made of shit. It's the spirit of the Fringe.
So, I have made a few vows for this Edinburgh. The vegan thing that I mentioned in the last blog will start as soon as I get off this train which is why I am currently injecting myself with eggs and rubbing cheese into my hair. I'll miss that. But, I'll give it a go anyway. I also vow to blog every day. This should be relatively easy as my first show is at 2pm and then my other one is at 11.15pm. That's a fair bit of time to enjoy Tofu cheese, no booze and furious blogging. As long as my new diet frustrates me and people up here behave as normal, my blog should be as vitriolic as it was in 2008. Let's hope Toilet comes up.
My other vow has surprised even me. I promise to see more shows this year. Obviously, loads of people say that every year but I never have. I try to see as little as possible therefore not upsetting my eyes and making my brain vomit so that puke drips out my nose. The thing is, my utter snobbery has made sure that I have missed a lot (Ok, a few) great shows. So this year I'll be trying to see at the very least one show a day. That is an incredible step up from other years. I've already got my favourites in my head, and I recommend to you, that are An Hour Of Telly Live, Tim Vine, Stewart Lee, Colin Hoult, Caroline Mabey, Andrew O'Neill, Richard Herring, Andrew Collins, Richard Herring & Andrew Collins, Bennett Arron, Tara Flynn....erm...I'm sure there's more. You can recommend some to me if you like. I've also picked out my favourite worst sounding show of the Fringe (and, surprisingly, it's not Lights! Camera! Improv!) that I might go to see. Don't worry, it's not your show. Your show sounds....your show sounds nice.
It's the first night of Gutted tonight. My supporting cast have all been in Edinburgh since the beginning of the week, all rehearsing and perfecting their roles. I've been shouting at Robin Ince and watching Timelash. I might need a line run or something before the show. If they haven't replaced me, that is.
Gutted: A Revenger's Musical starring me and a bunch of cunts in a bag is on at the Assembly Rooms at 11.15. Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire starring me and a cunt in a bag starts tomorrow at 2pm at The GRV. Hope to see you there.
On Twitter please use #pointlessanger or #GuttedMusical